here i sit with lots of stuff running though my mind. The biggest thing is about next week. I don't want to be left alone waiting for surgery to start. I don't want to be left alone while i am in surgery. I know technaly i won't be alone since i will be surrounded by dr's and nurses. But i want my family there. I want Jesse there. I want him to be the last face i see as i go under. I want his face the first one i see when i wake up. I am really scared. Iguess this is normal to be feeling. the last time i had surergy was when i was 4. I don't remember any of it except waking up at night wanting my mom and having to go and find her in the toy room where there was several other mom's sleeping on cots. I remember that i didn't know which was my mom. Yes i am almost 31 and i should not be scared. But Damn it i am. I guess part of it is because i know what happened to my mom when she went under the knife back on March 1st. I know i will be fine but it is still scary. THen i am dealing with the lack of AF. I was due on Halloween. I am thinking it is just stress. But i need to find out b4 next week. As i have been told that i can't have surgery if i am with child. Well i guess that is all for now.