my first rant

why do people believe that they know what a mommy of an angel goes though when they are not a mom of an angel? I know what it feels like to lose a child that i wanted. I know what it is like to have to live everyday of your life with the thought " could have or should i have" Nothing will change that fact that my son is not here any longer. Is it my fault? Partly. is it my fault that i almost died 6 weeks later. DId i do something that almost caused my own death? I don't think at the time i did. I am questioning did i go back to work to soon? Can i prevent myself from taking my own life now yes i can and i will. Did i plan for my life to be this way? in part yes but would i wish on my worst emeny hell no. I would not want anyone to lose a child. Or go thought what i have been though in my life esp the past 2 years.
I am done ranting plus i have a headache